a really specific feeling
i do my best to work on myself at all times. positive thoughts, keeping a schedule, daily exercise, etc.; however, sometimes there are days where you just can’t find the good in anything. you feel like giving up and you fall back into your harmful patterns. headaches or stomach cramps may persist, you fall into a slump, you can’t get any work done, you’re off schedule, and you just feel like you’re back at square one.
sometimes it reminds me of the emotional version of, “every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” i’ll have one really good day, followed by a whole week of disgustingness. so i thought to myself, is it really worth it to go through all that pain just to experience this 1 amazing day? or would i rather just have a whole lot of “average” days with a balance of good and bad?
here’s the thing…bad days. we hate them. but…we kind of need them!
“Growth isn’t always constant...relapses happen. You’re not back at square one. Your growth prior to your relapse isn’t erased. Take your time. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ll be okay.”
emotions are challenging to control. if you get really excited over a good day, you’ll likely feel the disappointment of a less amazing day just as strongly. here’s what might be going on: we compare the present to the past. it’s rare (but possible) to have 2 very good days one after another. usually though, it’s a good day followed by an average day; however, since the previous day was good, it will result in an average day seeming like an awful one. it’s important to experience good emotions with a bit less attachment and do the same for the bad ones as well, all while not rejecting either. experience without clinging or declining!
no one promised life would be perfect. there’s a quote i read recently (thank you pinterest!) by Tolstoy that said, “if you look for perfection you’ll never be content.” it’s important to not condition our happiness on meeting every expectation we set for ourselves. if you had a bad day, try not to focus on how terrible your life is. don’t worry, i’ve been tempted by it too during extremely heartbreaking times, but stressing out won’t make you feel any better. if you search for the lesson in your present struggle, you’ll be able to make positive changes that will prevent similar situations in the future. this is key! in order to do this, try specifying exactly what is causing you to have a bad day. it may be as obvious as going through a breakup or more hidden. the more you dig, the closer you will be at finding some stability. pinpoint it and analyze it, because there’s always a lesson in every struggle.
the hard times also make you appreciate the good. maybe ten more things could have gone wrong on your bad day accompanied by some dramatic life-changing event. but it didn’t. this is not to say that what you’re feeling is not true, but remember to appreciate the tiny good parts of your bad day. maybe it helped you to take some time off for yourself that you really needed! if your life was a smooth ride, free of challenges, and without any of the joys or excitement you experience after overcoming difficulties, do you really think it would be all that interesting? deviations are the essence of life, i think. life is no stationary platform, but more like a plane. it doesn’t stay still: a plane needs power, wind support, and faces various forms of turbulence. this doesn’t mean that the instance it experiences some thrust or air movement it will boom, fly down and crash. with this analogy in mind, continue your flight. your purpose is to stay in the air and to locate each emotion, take it by the hand, and remind it that you’re in control.
bad days are as much a part of your life as good and average days. everything together creates the puzzle of life. if you enjoy the great days, you have to respect the bad ones as well. think of them as a slight turn on an otherwise straight path. they make you uncomfortable at first, but still keep you on track. multiple bad days, however, are a sign to bring about a change in life. take some time to shop, watch a show, pamper yourself, eat a pack of gummy bears (all in moderation. balance it out with a rich, nutrient filled meal after…but cheat days here and there are okay i think. i’m no dietician though, but maybe one day), and realize that you’ve done this before. you’ve gotten through many of those days where you’re like: “no THIS is the worst day ever.” no matter how impossible it appeared back then, you persevered and made it through.
it is what it is. that’s the attitude i have about bad days. they soon will be over and a better day will come. sit with the uncomfortable feeling of a bad day, push yourself to get to know who you are a little better and the tendencies you have, and reflect on it so you can move on to a better you and view.
you got this!
eliza
