we’re only human
college apps…oh my, oh my. it’s been nothing but self-doubt, tears, and stress the past month. but as many of you know, i’m all about looking for the positives. and here’s what i found: they ultimately helped me become closer to myself. learning more about who i am and what i believe in has led to understanding what i need to hear and remind myself of. we’re not all perfect and sometimes all it takes to break harmful patterns are little reminders here and there. although our journeys may not be identical, you may connect with one of these ideas, and if so, i hope you know that i’m healing right there with you. here are some messages that i’ve needed to hear while conquering a difficult senior year:
forgive yourself: it’s okay if you didn’t wake up early, go for a run, or finish that assignment. you’re only human. recognize that beating yourself up will only make things worse. instead, forgive yourself, and then decide to just move on. there’s a lesson to be learned from all that happens to us. we can become a better person — even when things have gone wrong.
start slow: don’t set your expectations too high when you’re just starting off. anxiety tends to “blow up” even the smallest things. something that would typically be easy to do, suddenly starts to feel overwhelming and impossible to accomplish. combat it by turning those overwhelming mountains into manageable hills. break each task into smaller steps and focus on one step at a time.
keep learning: getting to where you want to be is a process. don’t expect perfection overnight. if you woke up tomorrow and had instantly achieved all your major life goals, you wouldn’t know how to handle any of it. it’d be completely overwhelming because you hadn’t grown and transformed through the process of creating it all. the process is magic. it’s the becoming of you.
be kind to yourself: you’ll make mistakes along the way, but don’t let that stop you
being proud of the victories that no one else can see: you’re allowed to be proud of the victories that no one else can see: accepting yourself, not being fearful of the future, being happy for those you’ve had to let go, talking yourself out of a dark mindset, or even waking up every single day and choosing life. be proud of the progress no matter if it is visible to others or not. you’re doing great!
making sense of life: this was not easy, but for the longest time i was trying to make sense of what in the world life is. what’s my purpose? why am i here? what do i do? but now, i see that honestly there is no sense to be made, only life to be lived. there is no set purpose to fulfill, there are no checklists to complete, just an ephemeral moment to BREATHE, to LOVE, to be KIND, to FEEL. life is in all the simple, little things that we so often overlook. be here. be present. embrace your own journey. there is so much beauty and wonder to be found right where you are.
fake it till you make it: refuse to give in to negative feelings of anxiety, self-doubt, or insecurity. choose to switch off the old tapes that keep playing in your heard, try to visualize your goals, and then push on and seek to reach them.
a big one…don’t pay attention to what others think about you: senior year is all about judgment. omg she’s applying THERE? he’s not working on his apps? they ALREADY finished everything? this has caused so much unnecessary anxiety for me. but that’s what this is for, is for you all to learn from my lessons. the most important judgment should be yours, and yours alone. if you live in constant fear of what others think about you, it will only hold you back from realizing your potential. don’t be afraid to be unique or to stand out against the crowd. in terms of college, apply where you want to, make your own timeline, and stick to it. in terms of life, you’re not a clone of others. do what makes you happy and let the rest figure out what makes them happy.
regrets: you can’t change what happened, but you can make choices so the future turns out better. we all have regrets — it’s part of being human. there’s no one who is perfect, or who does things perfectly. see it as a life lesson and something you can learn from. good things can come from your regrets if you will let them change your ways. see yourself as a new person…as a person you believe in…as someone you are proud of. practice self-compassion and give yourself a break. you deserve to be loved. that was then - and this is now - let it go and look ahead. for you can’t change your future if you’re always looking back.
focusing on self-love: it seems like senior year is all about rushing into relationships, maybe as a way to destress or maybe as a final hoorah? in any case, it hurts seeing all your friends in relationships. it’s as if you’re missing out. here’s the thing: there’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. there’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. you need to fill yourself up with love…not anyone else. become a whole being on your own. go on adventures, wander around the city, sit in a coffee shop. do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. live for yourself and be happy on your own. it isn’t any less beautiful, i promise you.
life’s beauty lies in the unknown. change is constant because growth is life’s path. our experiences shape us into new people. and it’s all absolutely beautiful. be patient, compassionate, and respectful of your own journey. you have a powerful intuition; learning to trust yourself will change your life.
be present and embrace life’s brevity.
sending so much love,
eliza
