let’s talk pt. 3
hey everyone! i haven’t done a “let’s talk” in a while, but i’ve had so many private conversations with you all that i am truly so grateful for. i have learned so much about you, and in turn more about myself, and i am proud of every single one of you. it’s seriously an honor to have built such a welcoming, safe community with you all and i couldn’t have asked for a better group of people. okay, no more sappiness! let’s get into it. you ask, and i answer!
1. “I’ve felt so off recently, not sticking to my routines and feeling just overall down. How do I get back to feeling more like myself?”
going through periods of not feeling like yourself is perfectly normal, and there are several reasons why you could be feeling out of sorts. this could be something hormonal, stress-related, or maybe something major happened in your life. regaining your sense of self can take time and intention. if you’re experiencing a stretch of feeling out of sorts, it really depends on what you feel you need. for me, it helps to:
ground myself, taking slow, deep breaths. relax shoulders, think about your surroundings, continue to breathe and relax. sometimes a moment of letting go and not thinking about anything can really help you reconnect with yourself
take time away from things that stress you out or put you in a bad mood. actively create time and space for hobbies, activities, or events that bring you joy and can help you navigate back to your sense of self. try taking a walk if you want to be alone or spend time with others if you think it could be helpful to be around others.
self-reflect. keeping a journal has so many benefits and it really allows you to better understand your thoughts and feelings as you reflect on your daily life, your relationships, and your outlook on the world around you. try gratitude journaling or simply writing about your day and how you felt! the relief you may feel after dumping your thoughts is so. worth. it
we may all go through feeling out of sorts or unlike our usual selves. if you find that you’re unable to reorient, however, something else may be going on. speaking with a therapist or medical professional can help. remember to not be so hard on yourself when you’re feeling off. you are living and learning, and are deserving of time off to recenter and reconnect. forgive yourself and grow from the experience. you got this!
2. “How do I stop comparing myself to other people?”
i think the best way to do this is to realize (and accept) that there will always be someone better at something than you. that’s just life! i’ve found that there are an infinite number of categories upon which we can compare ourselves to and an almost infinite number of people to compare ourselves to. and with how flooded we are by social media, it’s easier than ever to constantly find someone “better” to compare ourselves to, which only serves to make us feel bad about ourselves.
once we begin down that road, we never find an end.
but, the tendency to compare ourselves to others is as human as any other emotion. so, how do we “correct” this tendency so it doesn’t hurt us?
it’s worth remembering that we often only see the best of other people, especially the ones on social media. it’s easy to think that they’re completely together when we only have a one dimensional view of them.
instead of focusing on what other people have or are, turn that focus inward. what do you have? what are you proud of? and what do you value? compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. if you want to be more stylish, great! take steps towards that goal, and when, tomorrow, you compare yourself to the person you are today, you can feel pride in your accomplishments, instead of bad that someone else is farther along in their journey in this particular area than you.
this gets easier with practice, and, in my experience, as you get older. at then end of the day, the most important thing to remember is that the only person you have the power to control is you. focus on your own growth, and the confidence to stop comparing yourself to others will follow.
3. “Gaining a better relationship with food”
this is definitely a heavy topic and something that i can only speak of using my own experiences. your relationship with food is personal, unique, and requires regular work to keep it healthy. i have had a phase where i haven’t had a great relationship with food, feeling guilty for eating at times and letting food control me rather than the other way around. while i don’t have any professional experience and each person has a separate relationship with food, i believe that someone with a healthy relationship with food feels in control around food, versus feeling like food has control over them. this means not placing any particular food group "off-limits" or restricting it to only specific "cheat days." nor binge eating or feeling bad about occasional indulgences.
for example, if you come across your favorite dessert at a party, you'd be able to enjoy a reasonable portion of it without feeling bad about it—instead of overindulging or suppressing that want out of guilt.
your relationship with food is arguably one of the most important relationships in your life (besides the one with yourself) and should be made a priority. i would check in with a parent or even a qualified health and wellness professional if you feel that your struggle with food is becoming overwhelming or affecting other areas of your life.
4. “What do you mean by finding the little moments?”
great question! this motto for the blog is meant to create a more positive outlook and foster a greater sense of happiness and fulfillment in life.
we don’t need to enjoy each moment, but we can be aware of each moment. if we don’t open our eyes, take a breath, and become aware, we run the risk of missing the majority of our lives.
so my challenge to you is this… don’t try to do amazing things. (you already are.) don’t set big goals and strive for them. (you’ve got that down) but simply start to notice those moments in-between your accomplishments. notice yourself making the coffee and not just drinking it, pay attention to the commute and not just the arrival.
life is full of stress but also full of beautiful moments. when we take a moment to appreciate the small things in our lives, we cultivate greater happiness and contentment. whether it’s mindful reflection, finding joy in simple activities, or celebrating “small” achievements, remember, it’s not the big moments that define our happiness, but rather the little things that make us smile and give us joy in our daily lives.
5. “Favorite way to destress”
it really depends on the day. these are in general what i do to destress:
browse Pinterest. easily my go-to
go on a walk with either my mellow playlist or listening to an Emma Chamberlain episode
coloring (the bobbie goods coloring books are my ABSOLUTE favorite)
honestly…just dancing and singing it out. blasting music in my room and just dancing the stress out is so effective
baking (or buying) some yummy cookies or cupcakes. treat yourself :)
ok lovely people. that’s all for this month’s “let’s talk” post. you all are the absolute best and i hope you are doing well. see you in november!
eliza
