let’s talk pt. 4
hey! welcome back to let’s talk (october edition)…but posted in november. whoops! i had so many people reach out to me on the dreaded 11/1 (CONGRATS TO ALL SENIORS. im so proud of you all) that i decided to incorporate some of the conversations in this delayed post. i hope everyone is taking care of themselves and simply enjoying life as it is. i’m always here for you! without further ado, let’s get to answering!
“How do I accept that high school is ending?”
this is what i think, and what has helped me cope with the fact that my childhood and some of my best friends are about to slowly fade away: it will be okay (i promise). i know that there’s this stress of starting all over again in college as a baby freshmen, the pressure from being in a totally new environment with a diverse set of people, and the absolute terror of taking care of your own life now. but despite it all, you will be totally fine. yes, there will be many tear jerking calls to mom when you can’t figure out how to use the laundry machine or you're just completely homesick. but through it all, you will learn, you will grow, and you will get through it. life after graduation is literally like the drop after the peak of a rollercoaster — terrifying, but also exhilarating.
now…the dreaded friendship situation. it doesn’t even feel real to be writing this right now, but unfortunately all those summer plans to reconnect with your all your high school friends is probably not going to work out (but it might, and i’d love for you to prove me wrong!) most people stay in touch with their very best friends from high school, but that’s probably it. if that thoughts make you sad (i’m with you), don’t worry. the people who are really worth keeping around in your life will always be there for you…whether those are the ones you met in high school or the ones you’re about to meet in college.
graduation is a HUGE milestone, but it’s not like you flip your tassel from right to left and suddenly boom, you’re independent. you’re still gonna feel like a lost kid sometimes and the secret is knowing that every single other people your age feels EXACTLY the same way.
yes, graduation will be sad, as you scroll through all the photos and you hug your best friends for maybe the last time. yes, it will be exciting to start a whole new part of your life where the big, wide world has suddenly opened up to you and you’re able to do whatever you want. yes, this new world of opportunities will then feel overwhelming and you may feel lost at times. but at the end of the day, everything ends. the longer you live, the more you'll have to get used to that. it's not a problem in itself, for usually the end of one thing is the beginning of another. if you’re scared or not able to accept that high school is over, remember that the more you face the reality, the more you’ll realize that it's not so scary after all!
“I just can’t move on”
i’ve had a lot of conversations with people where they were struggling to move on from a relationship or a friendship. and what i remind them is that, some people are merely chapters in your book; you are not meant to read them over and over. they may be a part of your story, but they are in no way the entirety of your story. acknowledging this will allow you to move through the remainder of the book, with the ability to turn the pages of what comes next without so much sadness for what has passed. and it’s difficult — it’s something i still struggle with to this day. but nothing that is meant for you will EVER get away. this the truth. so let connections pass through you without attachment and soon you will see that you will never lose what is meant for you.
sometimes life has a funny way of showing us our inner strength. things can happen in this life that just don’t make sense. but as you navigate through your heartbreaks, thinking about what it would be like if you were still with them, remember that while you can’t control what life throws at you, you can control how you rebuild and rise above from the moments that turn your world upside down. there will be many more laughs and moments of pure joy surrounded by the people that love you. sometimes you need to push through the tough times to truly appreciate the good ones. this feeling will not last. for now, be strong, accept what has happened, feel the feelings, and slowly move on and heal. i believe in you!
“Being a people pleaser”
guilty! after so many ruined relationships after i constantly put other people first, this is what i’ve learned about being a people pleaser.
while it’s great to look after others, you need to remember to look after yourself too. it’s amazing that you help people achieve their goals, but don’t forget that your hopes and dreams are worthy of coming true too. you’re allowed to say no if something doesn’t serve you or if something doesn’t feel right. don’t betray yourself for the sake of someone else’s happiness. learn to recognize when this is happening because that’s likely when you need to say no or put some boundaries in place to protect yourself. it’s NOT selfish to treat yourself like an important person. it’s important to be there for others, but don’t forget to be there for yourself too!
“I’m terrified of growing up”
feeling like this is, unfortunately, normal. the biggest thing that’s helped me is to not compare myself to where other people are in life. everyone's path in life is different, and you are essentially comparing your blooper reel to someone else's greatest hits. what’s even more terrifying is thinking you have to fit this role of an "adult” and do all the scary things that come with this responsibility. but you CAN and WILL do the scary things, and honestly what makes them so scary is the lack of knowledge about them…so dive in, look things up, talk here, and experience life. take advantage of the communities here that want to help. people have done it before and compassion is abundant if you look for it in the right places. sure, it’s scary to begin with but just like with everything else, you'll adapt to it and become stronger because of it! you got this.
“Fun things to do alone”
i fully support this independent self-care day! here are some suggestions that i hope will help:
working/reading at a coffee shop (the music, the people watching, the yummy chai and matcha drink by your side)
walk around your neighborhood or park and listen to some music or a podcast! you’re healing your body and your mind at the same time and it seriously works wonders
try something new or something you’ve been putting off. try meditating, coloring, reading, baking, or whatever it is that excites you
spa day (face masks, bath, candle…it’s the best way to feel more in tune with yourself and you feel so cleansed after)
watch. that. show (while i don’t recommend watching tv for the whole day, sometimes just watching an episode of that show you’ve been dying to watch is such a good way to end the night. but, i’m all here for a no technology self-care day too)
while this edition was mostly catered to the seniors, i hope that some of you still learned something or took something new from this post. we’re in this together! thank you for contributing and being a part of this beautiful community with me. i’ll see you in november…again :)
lots of love,
eliza
