overthinking 101

imagine this: it’s the evening, you’re in your comfortable pj’s, the teeth are brushed, the goodnight’s have been said, and you’re ready to put the day to rest. you reconnect with the safe place that awaits you for the next (hopefully) 8 hours. you close your eyes, take a big sigh, and anticipate the moment when your body finally beings to rest.

“what am i doing wrong? will they leave me tomorrow?”

the thoughts from today begin to rush into your head.

“why did i do that? why did i have to say that? did i deserve the recognition? why can’t i be like the rest of them?”

now thoughts are coming from all over the place. there’s no way we’re going to sleep now. as you anxiously ponder all things negative, you stick yourself into a cycle of overthinking.

overthinking is the art of creating problems that don’t exist.

you know when you have a stain and you pick at it and it just becomes increasingly more messy, to the point where you feel guilty for picking at it in the first place. or when you slightly color out of the lines and you try to fix it. then you end up having to fix other things that were inside the lines to make it more cohesive with the big blob you just made. essentially: something doesn’t sit right with you, you fixate on it, and in the end you tend to make everything much worse. that’s overthinking in a nutshell.

for me, it’s fixating on one little problem until it evolves into something bigger and scarier than it actually is. it’s overthinking positive things until they don’t look so positive anymore (and this is when the anxiety starts to build). it’s overanalyzing and deconstructing things so the happiness that comes from just enjoying something in the moment disappears.

you start to become someone who self-sabotages the good things that happen in life (and the good news you get). most of the time the problem itself is not the actual issue. instead, it’s the incredible amount of overthinking and overanalyzing you’re doing with the problem. to be honest, i’ve lost so many good friendships that of course, now looking back, i could’ve continued with if it wasn’t for me overthinking every little text or action or decision.

as always, i want you all to grow from my mistakes. so…here’s what i learned (and what i highly suggest):

1. trust the way life happens

overthinking can ruin happiness and opportunity, creating unneeded anxiety. you’re overthinking so much because you want to control the outcomes! the only thing you can control is your effort and your attitude — that’s it. tell yourself you deserve it and then take the necessary actions so you can earn/stick with it. no amount of guilt can change the past. no amount of anxiety can change the future. remember that :)

2. don’t think so hard about everything (easier said than done ik)

don’t overanalyze everything. don’t focus on their tone, the way they move their hands, their facial expressions, the way they shorten their "gn” or “ily.” just take it how it is! you hurt yourself when you take things out of proportion. if it feels right, go with the flow. if it feels wrong, don’t think about it anymore and walk away. life is way too short for us to be stuck in the past with our anxious thoughts.

3. maybe the most important…remember that life is not an equation you have to solve for

your life’s mission (in my opinion) is not to have an answer to every feeling or situation. that’s just not how it works! we figure it all out just by LIVING, by MESSING up, by MISSING an opportunity, by SEEKING advice and taking it or maybe not taking it. we learn what’s important and what isn’t. sometimes we have no clue what to do and it’s scary, but it’s okay. trust your gut and know that everything will work out exactly the way it is supposed to. it always does. breatheeee, we were never in control anyway!

the truth is, guys, life will amaze you in the most stunning ways possible. life will gift you the kinds of lessons that grow and build you and help you to bloom into the person you have always hoped to be. it’s so easy to worry about every little detail in life, but worrying won’t help you achieve a single thing. and we’re all about self-actualization here! so…stay motivated and know that everything will work out. maybe not how you thought it would, but that’s life. sometimes things work. sometimes things don’t. find peace in unexpected places, take deeper breaths, slow down. everything will be revealed when it is meant to be revealed to you. let’s try to accept that.

love and peace to you all. hope you’re having an amazing summer and relaxing/taking care of yourself. lmk what you guys have been up to: positiveview8@gmail.com

signing off!

eliza