let’s talk pt. 5

hi everyone…happy new year! i wish you a 2024 filled with lots of new beginnings, laughter, love, and of course, healing. i can’t wait to get to know more of your stories this year. this post has been delayed time and time again and so i finally sat down today, after recovering from the good old covid, to write potentially one of the longest let’s talk posts we’ve had! i’ve had so many good conversations with you all over the past 2 months, and i truly am so grateful for you all for sharing your experiences. blogging is often done on your own, in a quiet room, and away from the people you’re talking to…so having this thread of posts really brings the whole experience full circle. a conversation isn’t just you talking to yourself — it goes both ways and i want you all to know how appreciative i am. okay…now i’m ready :)

1. “any recommendations on self-help books?”

• The Mountain Is You — truly changed my perspective on life and encouraged me to grow into a better version of myself

• A Gentle Reminder — a must read. healed me in ways i will never be able to express in words

• Come Home to Yourself — all about finding yourself again

• The Pivot Year — 365 quotes to becomes the person you truly want to be

• When You’re Ready, This is How You Heal — this is a second must read. title pretty much sums it up.

2. “why did he/she break up with me?”

for some reason, the holidays are the time where most people decide that it’s time to rethink their relationship and break up…or at least that’s what i’ve seen and heard recently. with that, many people have come to me asking, “how could something like this happen to me?” or “why do bad things happen to good people” or “why wasn’t i enough?” and it’s comforting to believe that everything happens for a reason (and sometimes this does prove to be true), but sometimes heartbreaking things can happen and it seems like there is no possible way to explain the situation, or reason with it — not right now anyway. situations arise that simply just do. not. make. sense. while you may search for a meaning or a reason behind this pain, it’s important to remember that sometimes, there is no reason. sometimes, things don’t happen for any reason at all. maybe you did nothing to deserve this, maybe you won’t find a reason this time, maybe you were always enough. sometimes life can be cruel. and i understand that not having a reason is painful! because it’s in our human nature to seek answers and understanding. so here’s some things that could be helpful:

• accept uncertainty: understand that not everything in life has a clear explanation (this one is not easy…but it’s the most rewarding when you realize you’ll sometimes be better off without the answer as to “why” certain things occurred)

• focus on personal growth: instead of fixating on the “why,” shift your focus to self-improvement and use this time to explore your own interests, goals, and aspirations. new beginnings are beautiful! try to explore them.

• avoid dwelling on the past: getting over someone SUCKS, but it’s a life skill we need to learn. they are part of your story, but they are not the entirety of it. holding onto the need for a reason may prolong the healing process. learning to let go of the desire for a clear explanation can be so freeing and can allow you to open yourself up to new possibilities. move onto a better chapter!

• create your OWN CLOSURE: ding, ding, ding, mark this one down. closure doesn’t always come from external sources. you have the power within to create your own sense of closure by focusing on your well-being, personal goals, and focusing on the people that don’t leave you feeling confused.

if you can’t find a reason for your pain right now — at least have trust that better things are on their way to you, even if it doesn’t feel like it. always know that day by day, little by little, you will heal and allow yourself to let all the goodness radiate back towards you. beautiful things are coming, please keep yourself open to them, and above all, please believe that you ARE worthy of it all.

healing is a gradual process and everyone copes differently. give yourself the time and space you need to navigate through these emotions. and lean on your support system! we are here for you.

3. “i have never been so overwhelmed scrolling through all of the 2023 recap posts. i feel embarrassed that i haven’t had as successful as a year.”

to this, i say…your turn is coming, your time is coming, your happiness is coming. even if it feels like you’ve been celebrating the happiness and success of others a lot lately, make sure you don’t forget about all the things you already have to be grateful for. you may not have it all figure it out just yet, but you are a work in progress, and there is so much beauty in that!

beating yourself up for not being further along your journey does nothing to help get you closer to where you want to be. it makes you feel inadequate, ashamed, and it keeps you stuck. try not to fixate on how much farther you need to go and start acknowledging how incredible it is that you’ve gotten as far as you have. that despite how difficult this path has been, you haven’t given up! because that’s what matters.

your journey may look a little different, but it isn’t any less worthy of recognition. instead of feeling like you can only smile for others, normalize feeling proud of yourself. everything coming to you is worth waiting for, just don’t forget to celebrate the not so little things along the way, too. i know it can be so painful to feel stuck and not as “far” in life as other people you see online (read my post about social media). trust that you won’t be here forever. trust that you will get to where you need to and want to be in your own time. what you’re doing right now is enough. no matter where you are in your journey, you’re enough.

4. one of my followers, annie, had a super fun idea to share some quotes on what you may need to read today based on your zodiac sign! so i thought i would try it…take what you need, even if it isn’t specific to your sign :)

virgo: you strive for excellence, but remember to also strive for balance. learn to focus on the bigger picture…a few errors aren’t going to detract from your work the way you think they wil. mistakes are a part of life. knowing you, virgo, you’ll turn them into an important lesson your future self will remember. don’t be afraid off them!

gemini: remember to pause and appreciate the knowledge and experiences you’ve accumulated. small moments of gratitude are what make life beautiful. don’t let life pass you by on your way from one thing to the next.

aries: you are not alone. you have friends and a support system who care for you deeply, and they want to support you in your journey. it’s okay to lean on them.

leo: learn to love the simple things. silence, stillness, slow Sundays, new books, the spaces in between.

libra: it’s okay to say “no” when your own peace is at stake. focus on balancing the bigger picture — your life — and make sure you’re not forgetting to prioritize yourself over everything else you have going on. let someone else handle the arguments; you can step out and rest easy knowing that it’s truly not your problem sometimes.

taurus: life isn’t always about predictability and routine. sometimes, it’s about stepping out of your comfort zone and exploring the unknown. change is part of life…let go and embrace new experiences.

cancer: you deserve the same love and care you give so freely to those around you. your empathy and sensitivity make you generous with your emotional availability…try to reflect some of that generosity back onto yourself.

scorpio: know when to let go and when to hold on. if you have that gut feeling that it’s time to move on, don’t hold yourself back. change is how you transform. if you’ve been feeling nostalgic lately, now is not the time to completely bury yourself in the past. reminiscing has its good moments, but you mind end up missing out on opportunities in the present because of it. find a balance.

sagittarius: you might be feeling stuck right now. don’t avoid whatever it is you’re struggling with. confronting your fears and feelings is the only true way to move forward. and don’t be afraid to reach out to others! find what needs to be addressed within yourself, and you’ll find that freedom you’re looking for.

capricorn: success isn’t always about the number of achievements you can display. you should be proud of what you’ve already done. emotional happiness, life satisfaction…spend time thinking about what that means for you — your relationships, your home (mind and body), your mental health. you deserve to highlight your accomplishments on all fronts, not just the ones you can see or measure.

aquarius: sometimes things form your perspective won’t make sense. but maybe, things don’t always need to make sense…maybe closure doesn’t need to be found in every situation. remember to accept uncertainty and find your own closure.

pisces: oftentimes, rejection is redirection, closed doors are protecting you from what’s lurking around the corner. plans fall through because better things are coming in. the wrong people pass by because the right ones are moving closer. adopting this mindset will set you free. remember…things usually happen exactly the way they’re supposed to.

5. “can you do an in’s and out’s for 2024?”

i deleted tiktok about three months ago, so when my friend katya commented this for the let’s talk post…i had no idea what she was talking about. now, i’m absolutely obsessed with this trend and highly recommend each of you create your in’s and out’s list for the new year!

in’s 🧸:

• reading, not scrolling

• better self-care (hair routine, skincare, planned morning and night routine, etc.)

• DRINK WATER

• study habits (phone far away, pomodoro technique)

• do not disturb feature

• hang out with friends more and don’t feel ashamed about it!

• journaling

• more hugs

• get the most out of every. day.

out’s 🍓:

• buying coffee every day

• comparison

• waking up and immediately going on my phone

• people pleasing

• messy room

• the need to say “yes” to everything

• jealousy

if you’ve made it to hear, i wish you all an amazing, refreshing new year! i have so much faith in you all that 2024 is your year. i’m here for you as always, and can’t wait to celebrate 1 year of positivU in 5 months. that’s just insane!

lots of love, hugs, and support,

eliza